Monday, April 13, 2009

Watch out for those dogs

Paul writes, "Watch out for those dogs, those who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh. For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Sprirt of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh..." Paul is writing to the Philippians here (Phil 3:2-3) about letting legalists influence us. Jews commonly referred to Gentiles as "dogs". But here Paul is referring to those who live by rules for rules sake - not for the relationship in the Lord.

I never considered any other way to have a baby other than the "right" way. Intercourse with my husband. Until just recently I've been known to say things like, "At least I have one perfect child. If that's all I ever have, that's okay with me." I would have never considered adoption because for one, I wanted my "own" child, and two, I have seen some adoptions go awry, and I know I couldn't deal with that (or didn't want to deal with it). I never would have considered surrogacy, because I would not want to "play God" with all the embryo decisions.

Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord. That is for sure. But God also puts desires in your heart, and glimpses of what the blessings he has in store for you. I prayed for God to take the desire to have another baby away from me. And there are days I am ambivelent. (I thank the enemy for those days) But there are days when the desire is so strong, I could weap!

What I have learned since I became a Christian is that every blessing has at least two purposes. Every blessing has the purpose to, well bless you. But there is something we usually need to do, accept, challenge or lose along the way. And that is because every blessing also has the purpose to make us more like Christ. Usually, because we are human, we learn more in the painful times than we do in the blessed times. If everything were handed to us, how could God see our growth? How could we see our growth? It has been such a huge blessing to me alone to see how far I have come and changed since I became a believer.

All this to say that your infertility is an issue between you, your spouse and God. No one else. When well-meaning people in your life try to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't seek a test or treatment to track your reasons for infertility/miscarriage or to become pregnant, you need to remember that it is not up to them. You need to do what you and your spouse together feel is right in the eyes of God in your situation. And God is so good! I think that when I was saying those things, the timing wasn't right for me. But now God is saying, "Pray, seek information and come back to Me so we can chat."

When I suffered my miscarriage at 10 weeks I recieved some great advice from a prayer-warrior friend of mine. She said, "You must have a lot of grace with people, especially Christians. They are going to say some things to you that will sound really stupid. But they don't mean to hurt you. Have a lot of grace with them." This is my advice to you - Seek the Lord continually in your situation, and have a lot of grace with those well meaning "dogs" in your life.

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